👣Our Journey Through Speech Delay and Finding Our Own Path

When you have more kids, there's this constant dance of trying to give each child what they need while battling the guilt that someone might be getting less attention. This is our story about Teo, my middle child, and our journey through speech delay and finding confidence – a story I hope might comfort other parents walking similar paths.
Teo is exactly three years younger than his big brother Tur. By November 2022, when Teo turned two, I found myself counting his words, growing more worried with each tally. He had a small collection of sounds – some animal noises, "mom," "dad," "milk," "water," and "egg" a mix of Serbian and Brazilian Portuguese words. But children his age typically had much larger vocabularies, and I couldn't help but worry.
In February 2023, with another baby on the way, we saw our first speech therapist. The good news? There were no mechanical issues – his speech instruments were perfectly fine. He was simply delayed. But the sessions were tough. Teo would cry more than speak, and being pregnant while watching him struggle was emotionally draining. As summer approached, with a new house purchase and a baby on the way, we decided to pause the sessions, hoping time would help.
Those months were full of changes. I was still breastfeeding Teo until February, and then as my pregnancy progressed, he started sleeping with his dad. We've always believed that young children should share beds as long as they need that closeness. When his baby sister Liv arrived in August 2023, Teo moved to sharing a bunk bed with Tur. Those first months were a delicate balance – my husband helping with night feedings after my third C-section, lifting the baby for me since I couldn't.
By November 2023, with Liv about four months old, Teo had made some progress. He could say simple phrases like "hoću vodu" (I want water) in a somewhat lazy way. He was engaged and happy in activities, but still not speaking in full sentences. That's when we found a wonderful therapist in a shopping center near the capital. She was amazing – Teo felt comfortable with her right away. We started with the basics: vocabulary for household items, lots of pictures that I'd cut out and organize. She gave me homework, and I worked with him every day, showing images and gently encouraging him to talk.
Then something magical happened. After about two months of therapy, around January 2024, Teo surprised us. Instead of speaking Serbian, which we were practicing in therapy, he suddenly started speaking full sentences in Portuguese with his dad! This coincided with my husband leaving his job to help more with the kids. Looking back, we wonder if having my mom stay with us for four months after Livia's birth (speaking Serbian) might have caused some language confusion for him.
Month by month, his Portuguese flourished. Now, a year later, he's quite fluent, though he still has some pronunciation challenges – struggling with "k," "g," and sometimes substituting "w" sounds for "k" or "t." But as his speech improved, we started noticing something else that had always been there but was overshadowed by our focus on his speech: his shy, conservative nature.
Unlike his outgoing brother Tur, who would happily interact with strangers and other children even as a baby in Brazil, Teo has always been more reserved. As a baby, he only allowed close family members to hold him. The first real red flag came in April 2024 at a birthday party with about 30 children. While Tur jumped right in to play, Teo stayed close to me and eight-month-old Livia, saying he was scared and overwhelmed by all the kids.
Recently, about a month and a half ago, we started him in kindergarten. We'd prepared by having him attend a kids program from September to December 2024, where he'd go for two hours weekly to learn about drawing and numbers. Though he wanted to go, he wouldn't speak to the teacher or other children, even in very small groups.
The kindergarten transition has been challenging. He seems traumatized, thinking I'm leaving him alone. Now he even cries at playgrounds where he used to be fine staying for a couple of hours. Moreover, he's almost stopped speaking Serbian entirely, responding to my Serbian questions in Portuguese. It's been tough hearing one teacher's comments about his "odd" behavior of not interacting.
But we're not giving up. We're trying new approaches. Since Teo loves drawing and more introverted activities, and often feels more secure with his brother around, we're planning to enroll both boys in a chemistry experiments school. Maybe this gentler exposure to other children, focused on interesting activities rather than direct social interaction, will help him gradually build confidence.
I'm sharing this story to encourage other parents whose bilingual children might be speech delayed. If your child understands everything you say, responds to their name, makes eye contact – trust that everything will be okay. I firmly believe that Teo's social anxiety and current reluctance to speak Serbian will improve with time. Some children simply need more time, and that's the magic of it – we're all different, developing at our own pace.
The key is patience and lots of love, without pushing too hard. Let them find their way, support them through their challenges, and celebrate their unique journey. After all, isn't that what parenting is all about? Understanding and accepting our children exactly as they are, while gently helping them grow stronger.