March 8th in Serbia is truly magical, the first real day of spring when the warm sun makes everything glow and the streets come alive with people enjoying cafés, parks, and the festive air. 🌹🌹Red roses🌹🌹 are everywhere, carried proudly by women and girls as a symbol of celebration. After a long, busy week working from home (I’ve been doing that for ten years now!), I decided to treat myself and my kids to a special day in the city on the day they had a programming class for Tur only and an experiment class for both Tur and Teo. Today was extra special because it was the first time we tried out our new routine: Tur, my older son, had a programming class, while Teo and Tur were set for experiments, and I wanted to stay in the city with Olivia and try out what it is like to take care of her outside, since usually we are at home during the week due to our busy schedule. I couldn’t wait to see how our day would unfold.

Leaving Home and Splitting Up

We left home together, buzzing with a mix of excitement and a little nervousness about the new schedule. As soon as we stepped out, the plan was set in motion: Tur would head off to his programming class while I took Teo and Olivia to the park. It felt like a small adventure.

At the park, the energy was infectious. Families gathered, laughter filled the air, and I could see how much people in Serbia love these moments of togetherness on a sunny day.

A Treat at the Bakery

There’s something about a bakery on a spring day that feels extra comforting. We stopped to enjoy Serbia’s famous cheese pita, a savory treat that always brings a smile to our faces and even shared a croissant with Livia. I remember how her eyes lit up at the sight of the sweet pastry and the little bird walking around; we sat in the park to eat. These small, shared moments over food remind me that, no matter how hectic life gets, there’s always time for a little indulgence and togetherness.

After our bakery stop, I decided to pick up Tur from his programming class. The city was vibrant, and for a few minutes, it felt like we were rediscovering our neighborhood together.

The Next Step: Experiment Class and a New Routine

With the bakery behind us and a quick walk with Tur, our plans took another turn. I had arranged for both Tur and Teo to attend an experiment class a fun, hands-on session designed to spark creativity and curiosity. It was their first time attending, and I was both excited and a bit anxious about how Teo would handle the new environment, since Tur is perfectly fine with new people and classes. I dropped them off, trusting that the new routine, which we’ve been slowly building up over time, would work.

Leaving Tur and Teo at the experiment class, I set off with Livia. The idea was to search for a cozy café for us while waiting for them to finish their class.

A Cozy Café Break with Livia

Inside the café, I quickly took care of Llivia’s needs: I changed her diaper and then, as I settled into a comfortable corner, I breastfed her. It wasn’t long before she drifted off to sleep in my arms a quiet, precious moment that contrasted beautifully with the busy day. With Livia peacefully asleep, I allowed myself a little indulgence: I savored a slice of rich cheesecake, sipped a warm cup of coffee, and even caught up on some messages online. That short pause, filled with calm and comfort, recharged me for the next part of our adventure.

Reuniting and the Long Walk Home

After my café break, the time had come to bring the family back together. I picked up Tur and Teo from their experiment class, and soon all three were reunited. We continued our day by walking together through the lively city streets as we waited for my husband to pick us up. I held Livia’s hand while Tur and Teo walked ahead, chatting and laughing as they recounted little details about their classes. When my husband is with us, it is easier to walk around with three kids; here, I'm talking about the challenge of four of us walking around.

Despite the long hours on our feet and the challenges of managing three little personalities in the bustling city, I felt an overwhelming sense of pride. Every “bravo” and “great job” I offered was a reminder of how much they’d grown. Today was not only a day of fun and adventure, it was a testament to the routines and trust we had built over time.

Reflections on the Journey

Looking back on the day, I can’t help but remember the early days of motherhood. When Tur was a baby, even a simple walk was a struggle. I dreamed of taking him out in a stroller, but he would cry until I held him close. There were days I would sing or try different routes, only to find that nothing worked except carrying him in my arms. Those experiences taught me patience, creativity, and the art of adapting on the fly. There are many times I think that it is good that he was my first when I still had strength for these moments, and it is good that my two other ones are easier or maybe I'm better; we will never know, I guess! :)

I also recall the joy of using an ergo baby carrier back then, it was my secret weapon. Carrying a little one close to your heart makes you feel connected, and it gave me the strength to push on, even when the days were long and tiring. As my children grew older, things changed. Tur, once so demanding in a stroller, became more independent (even if he still needed a little extra care). Teo, who learned to walk early (only at 11 months), started adapting more easily to outings. And now Livia, though too big for the carrier, still brings moments of calm, like when she peacefully sleeps in my arms at the café.

There were also those tricky moments in the supermarket. I remember how chaotic it could be when you’re out with little ones. Over time, I developed a few tricks, like giving Teo a small “job,” such as picking out a new toothbrush which makes him feel grown-up and involved. I learned that when I talk softly to Livia as she sits in her shopping cart, she listens and behaves, which makes the whole experience less stressful.

Today’s adventure was different. With three kids, there are days when every moment feels like a balancing act between chaos and calm. But as they grow, you see progress: they listen more, understand the routines, and even enjoy the structure of our outings. It’s not always easy sometimes my muscles ache from hours of walking but every challenge is worth it for these small victories.

A Message to Fellow Parents

If you’re a parent, or thinking about having a larger family, know that while the days can be exhausting and the logistics challenging, there’s so much beauty in the chaos. Every little success, a well-behaved walk, a quiet moment at a café, or even just a shared pastry at a bakery, adds up to memories that will last a lifetime.

I sometimes think back to the time when I first doubted I could handle it all. I worried about managing three kids, about the long days of sleep deprivation, and about the endless juggling of responsibilities. But today, as I watched Tur, Teo, and Livia go about their day with smiles and cooperation, I knew that every struggle had made me a better, stronger mom. I’ve learned to trust my instincts, to adapt to each child’s unique needs, and to cherish every moment, even the messy ones.

So, here’s my message: trust yourself, celebrate the small victories, and remember that every day out, whether it’s in a bustling park, a quiet café, or a crowded city street, is a chance to build memories and deepen the bond with your children. They are all so unique, each with something wonderful to offer the world. And every day, in their own way, they teach me about patience, love, and the true meaning of family.

Final Thoughts

Today was a success, a day filled with new routines, joyful moments, and a reminder that, even when it’s tough, life with three kids can be beautifully unpredictable. I may be tired, and yes, my muscles are sore after walking for hours, but the joy of seeing my children grow, learn, and share these moments with me is priceless.

Science tells us that these small victories matter. Research on parental self-efficacy and positive reinforcement shows that every well-managed outing and every moment of calm helps build your child's confidence and emotional resilience. The routines we establish, supported by theories like Erikson’s stages of psychosocial development and Bandura’s Social Learning Theory, form the foundation for a secure and happy childhood. Each small success not only nurtures our children but also strengthens our ability as parents, making every step forward a building block for a brighter future.

I’m so grateful to be their mom, and I hope my story brings a little comfort and inspiration to all the parents out there. Whether you’re managing one, two, or three little ones, know that every day is a new adventure, and every memory is worth cherishing.

Our children's names carry our hopes, dreams, and cultural identities. They're often the first gift we give them, carefully chosen to reflect what we wish for their futures or to honor our family histories. In my family, with its blend of Serbian and Brazilian cultures, choosing names became an even more meaningful journey.

The Stories Behind Their Names

For our firstborn, we wanted a strong name that would cross cultural boundaries. Artur (Tur, as we affectionately call him) was perfect recognizable in both our cultures while carrying a sense of strength and nobility. The name comes from Celtic origins meaning "bear" or "stone," symbolizing strength and solidity. We hoped he would grow into a confident, strong person who could navigate life's challenges with certainty.

When our second son was on the way, we discussed many options, but surprisingly, it was Tur who had the final say. We mentioned "Mateo" (meaning "gift of God") among the possibilities, and Tur, not yet three years old, could pronounce it perfectly. From that moment on, he referred to his future baby brother only as "Teo," becoming genuinely upset if we suggested alternative names. The choice was made and our middle child would be Mateo, Teo for short, a gift from God chosen in part by his big brother.

For our daughter, I wanted a name with a beautiful melody that would also symbolize peace. Olivia (Livia, as we call her) means "olive tree," an ancient symbol of peace and harmony. I hoped she would bring a sense of serenity to our busy household of boys, though her current penchant for removing all her clothes and demanding only specific t-shirts suggests she may have some strong-willed ideas of her own!

Energy Dynamics Between Siblings

What's particularly fascinating is how these three distinct personalities create their own energy ecosystem in our home. Tur, being naturally energetic, sets a high-energy tone in our household. When my husband takes care of all three, I often hear them running around the house playing "robot chase" or having pillow battles, games that escalate in excitement and volume.

The contrast between parents' play styles is also notable. My husband naturally gravitates toward physical, high-energy play that gets all three children racing around. In contrast, I tend to engage them in artistic activities and imaginative play with Teo's Sonic characters and stuffed animals. While I might lose interest after about 10 minutes, I can spend hours crafting with them. This difference in play styles provides children with a balanced range of stimulation and learning experiences.

Navigating Play Styles

The interaction between my sons during play offers a fascinating window into their personalities. Teo, despite being younger at just 4 years old, is the one who introduces competitive elements where characters "die" or lose. "Your character is dead now!" he'll announce dramatically during play, not fully understanding the concept that sometimes others need to win too. Meanwhile, Tur becomes quite upset when his character keeps dying at the hands of his little brother. It's interesting to see how Teo is actually more creative with toys than Tur. Tur has always needed company and someone to guide play, while Teo naturally invents scenarios and stories with his toys.

I'll never forget our kids playing with the water and hose - they were always splashing around. One day, I accidentally left a bottle of detergent outside, and before I could blink, they had turned our backyard into their own impromptu foam party! It's in these physical, unstructured activities where they truly unite and find common ground. Despite their different personalities and frequent disagreements with toys, when it comes to making mischief with water or creating chaos together (those little troublemakers!), they become the perfect team. These moments of spontaneous joy show how children find their own ways to play together, discovering activities where their differences actually complement rather than compete with each other.

Protective Instincts and Sibling Bonds

What warms my heart most is seeing how they protect each other outside the home. Recently at a science workshop, when a little girl criticized Teo for "spilling water incorrectly," Tur immediately defended his brother. This confirmed for me that perhaps having the more confident, outspoken child come first in the birth order creates a natural protective dynamic, exactly what I'd hoped for.

These protective instincts often emerge in unexpected ways. While they might squabble endlessly at home over toys or attention, there's an unspoken alliance when they're in unfamiliar territory. Tur instinctively steps into the role of guide and protector for his younger siblings, and even Teo shows surprising gentleness toward baby Livia when she's upset.

Growing Together Through Play

Children's play isn't just about fun, it's their most important work. Through play, they process emotions, learn social skills, develop cognitive abilities, and form their understanding of the world. Watching my three little ones engage in different types of play has given me insights into their developing minds that I might have missed otherwise.

Tur, with his logical mind, often approaches play as a set of rules to be followed. He likes knowing how games work and can become frustrated when things don't go according to plan. His play often involves scenarios with clear roles and objectives.

Teo, on the other hand, approaches play with creative freedom. He's less concerned with "the right way" to play and more interested in exploring possibilities. His artistic nature shows in how he arranges toys in unusual combinations or invents stories that don't necessarily follow conventional logic.

Little Livia, still in the early stages of play development, approaches everything with enthusiastic experimentation. Her favorite "game" currently involves emptying containers and filling them again, drawers, cabinets, boxes, nothing is safe from her curious hands! She observes her brothers intently, already trying to mimic their play styles in her own toddler way.

As They Grow: Future Chapters

As for what little Livia will bring to our family story? The early signs are delightfully strong-willed. Just today, she took off all her clothes, screaming that she didn't want them, despite not yet speaking actual words! She simply puts her arms up like a little bird, curves her body downward, and makes an odd sound: "Aaaah" to scare the opponent." Then she marched over to her drawer, pulled out only her Bluey and Bingo t-shirt, and made it clear that's all she wanted to wear. She also constantly heads to the kitchen and fridge, already showing her independence.

It seems our third might be combining her brothers' personalities, taking Tur's determination and Teo's expressiveness to create something entirely her own. And isn't that the magic of childhood? Just when you think you've seen it all, your child shows you something completely new.

I managed to find ways to guide Tur toward obedience, but it was definitely not easy. Teo seems naturally more responsive to direction or perhaps I'm simply more of an expert parent now. (We'll never know which explanation is correct though I suspect it's a bit of both!)

As they grow, their ways of playing together will evolve. The simple joy of a foam party will give way to more complex games and interactions. Their personalities will continue to develop, influenced by each other as much as by their parents. But I hope that the foundations we're building now, of creativity, protection, and finding joy in each other's company, will remain throughout their lives.

In the beautiful chaos of raising these three distinct personalities, I've come to see that the greatest gift isn't in shaping them to be exactly as we imagined, but in creating a space where they can become their authentic selves, while learning to appreciate the differences in others. Through names chosen with love and play that builds bonds, we're weaving the fabric of a family that celebrates uniqueness while finding strength in togetherness.

When we become parents, one of the most fascinating discoveries is watching our children's personalities unfold. While we might imagine we'll shape them completely, research suggests that babies are indeed born with temperamental traits that serve as the foundation of their personalities something like a genetic lottery where some tickets say "will sleep through the night" and others read "will test every boundary known to humankind."

As a mother of three children, my oldest son is 7 years and 4 months, my middle son is 4 years and a few months, and my daughter is just a year and a half, I've had a front-row seat to this remarkable phenomenon. Each child arrived with their own distinct temperament from day one, which has only become more defined as they've grown.

The Firstborn Effect

I always wanted my firstborn to be a boy. Being the older sister to a brother myself (5 years younger), I grew up feeling like I was navigating life without the guidance of an older sibling. I watched my cousin, who had an older sister, seem more informed about everything from movies to music, always a step ahead. I wanted my firstborn child to have that confidence and leadership role.

What I've learned through raising my three children is that birth order does influence family dynamics significantly. My oldest, Tur, naturally leads his siblings. We've noticed that focusing on teaching him to be obedient and respectful creates a ripple effect, his younger siblings often follow his example. Child development experts call this "modeling," where younger children observe and imitate their older siblings' behaviors.

The Undivided Attention Phase

The transition from one child to multiple children completely transforms parenting. With Tur as our only child, we kept him, as we say in Serbian, "like a little water on the palm", treasured and constantly attended to. I remember those simpler days when one parent could take him to the park while the other enjoyed some alone time, a concept that now seems as fantastical as unicorns and money trees.

That dynamic is impossible now with 3 children (hope no one will hate what I'm saying, but let's be honest here). We can take all 3 kids to the park, but it's less of a relaxing activity and more of a high-stakes surveillance operation. There's no such thing as "chilling in another room" anymore, especially with my daughter Livia at just 18 months old, who possesses an almost supernatural ability to detect any parent attempting to relax and will inevitably find them to demand attention.

Research confirms this experience, showing that parents with multiple children typically spend less one-on-one time with each child compared to parents of only children. But I do try to carve out these precious moments with each of them whenever I can. I'm acutely aware that the middle child often suffers the most from attention deficit, so I make special efforts with Teo. Still, I admit that maybe once every 2-3 weeks is all that's possible for a one-on-one "date" with each child. I hope this will improve as Livia gets older and needs less constant supervision.

The Unique Beauty of Each Child

When Tur was born, I thought there could never be a more beautiful boy. He was everything to me as my firstborn, with his strong name chosen to reflect the strength I hoped he'd develop. Yet nature had its own plans - he grew into a sensitive, honest, curious, and talented child. He's naturally extroverted, sociable, and kind - qualities that make him shine in his own special way.

As a baby, Tur was so difficult with sleep. We tried everything, early baths to help him wind down, consistent routines but he would often stay awake until midnight. That strong-willed character was evident even when he was just a year and a half, boldly saying "no" to bath time! He spoke earlier than either of his siblings, surprising us with "ajde" (come on, in Serbian) and showing his verbal intelligence from the start.

Then Teo arrived, proving me wonderfully wrong about no child being as beautiful as my first. He was so cute and soft - "fofo" as we say in Portuguese. He surprised us all by being the first to walk at just 11 months old - setting a family record! While he's shy in public settings, at home he reveals his stubborn, determined personality. He can be temperamental, sometimes crying to get what he wants, though he's calmed considerably in recent months. His artistic side shines through, he draws and paints better than his brother did at the same age. What's most striking about Teo is that if you approach him gently and speak nicely, everything is achievable. He responds to kindness with cooperation, a completely different dynamic than his brother.

Then came Livia, once again proving that a mother's heart can expand endlessly. I've never seen such a cute baby, though I recognize that all mothers feel this way about their children. It's like an instinctual blindness that helps us protect and cherish our babies. I chose her name both for its beautiful melody and because it signifies peace - I wanted her to bring serenity to our home, which her sweet nature does wonderfully.

The Middle Child Magic: Finding His Spotlight

Being a middle child isn't for the faint of heart, especially when sandwiched between a charismatic firstborn and an adorable baby. Teo has the herculean task of outshining both cute little Livia with her irresistible baby charm and super-smart Tur who effortlessly commands attention in any room he enters. No matter where we go, Tur is the one singing loudly in the choir, dancing without a hint of self-consciousness, or confidently speaking up at programming workshops. He's remarkably easy-going and intellectually ahead of his age, a natural spotlight-stealer without even trying.

Yet in this challenging middle position, Teo is quietly developing strengths that might serve him better in the long run. His independence isn't just happenstance, it's his clever adaptation to family dynamics. When your older brother is always first and your baby sister naturally requires more care, you learn to solve problems on your own. You create your own path.

I see Teo carefully observing everything, processing deeply, and cultivating his artistic talents in ways that are uniquely his own. His competitive spirit isn't just sibling rivalry, it's his way of saying "I'm here too, and I have my own gifts to share." The quiet determination with which he approaches his drawings, the way he methodically arranges his toys, the thoughtful questions he asks when no one's rushing him, these are the markers of a mind that might one day surprise us all.

And deep in my heart, I know Teo will achieve great things in his own way and time. I recognize parts of myself in him and in Tur too. As a child, I was a blend of both their personalities. Like Teo, I had moments of quietness and careful observation, but like Tur, I knew how to speak up and defend myself when needed. I wasn't overly shy with adults and loved school activities. I had Tur's boldness in showing what I wanted, became rebellious as a teenager, and even more of a fighter as a university student. Yet beneath it all, my nature was always fundamentally calm, even now, I prefer working from home to constant social engagement.

What Research Tells Us

Child development experts have extensively studied the impact of genetics versus environment on personality. While genes provide the blueprint for temperament (characteristics like activity level, emotional intensity, and sociability), environment shapes how these traits express themselves.

A fascinating study from the University of California found that about 50% of personality differences among people can be attributed to genetic factors. The other half comes from environmental influences including parenting style, sibling relationships, and broader cultural contexts.

Embracing Individual Differences

The guilt is real and constant, it follows me like a particularly dedicated shadow. When I'm with one of the kids, I worry I'm neglecting the other two. When I'm working, I feel guilty I'm not with my children, and when I'm with my children, I worry about what I've forgotten at work. It's like playing an impossible game of emotional Tetris where none of the pieces ever quite fit perfectly. It's a stressful balance, a real battle sometimes. I know I can't do it all perfectly, I'm only human, despite my occasional attempts at superhero status. But I dedicate myself fully to my work, trying to be the best I can be, and I bring that same commitment to my family life.

There are probably no universal rules about which personality types should come first in a family. Each combination creates its own beautiful dynamic. But watching our three very different children, all lovely in their own ways, interact, learn from each other, and build their relationships is perhaps the greatest joy of parenthood, even on days when they've turned the living room into something resembling a disaster movie set.

In the end, each personality is beautiful in its own way. The only things that truly matter are that we grow to be good people who respect each other and maintain strong values and qualities. The real beauty lies in our differences, just as it does in nature itself. Our family is a small ecosystem of distinct personalities, each contributing something essential to the whole. In our differences, we find harmony, and in our love for each other, we find home.