👦🏽👦👧🏽 What's in a Name: How My Children Play and Grow

Our children's names carry our hopes, dreams, and cultural identities. They're often the first gift we give them, carefully chosen to reflect what we wish for their futures or to honor our family histories. In my family, with its blend of Serbian and Brazilian cultures, choosing names became an even more meaningful journey.

The Stories Behind Their Names

For our firstborn, we wanted a strong name that would cross cultural boundaries. Artur (Tur, as we affectionately call him) was perfect recognizable in both our cultures while carrying a sense of strength and nobility. The name comes from Celtic origins meaning "bear" or "stone," symbolizing strength and solidity. We hoped he would grow into a confident, strong person who could navigate life's challenges with certainty.

When our second son was on the way, we discussed many options, but surprisingly, it was Tur who had the final say. We mentioned "Mateo" (meaning "gift of God") among the possibilities, and Tur, not yet three years old, could pronounce it perfectly. From that moment on, he referred to his future baby brother only as "Teo," becoming genuinely upset if we suggested alternative names. The choice was made and our middle child would be Mateo, Teo for short, a gift from God chosen in part by his big brother.

For our daughter, I wanted a name with a beautiful melody that would also symbolize peace. Olivia (Livia, as we call her) means "olive tree," an ancient symbol of peace and harmony. I hoped she would bring a sense of serenity to our busy household of boys, though her current penchant for removing all her clothes and demanding only specific t-shirts suggests she may have some strong-willed ideas of her own!

Energy Dynamics Between Siblings

What's particularly fascinating is how these three distinct personalities create their own energy ecosystem in our home. Tur, being naturally energetic, sets a high-energy tone in our household. When my husband takes care of all three, I often hear them running around the house playing "robot chase" or having pillow battles, games that escalate in excitement and volume.

The contrast between parents' play styles is also notable. My husband naturally gravitates toward physical, high-energy play that gets all three children racing around. In contrast, I tend to engage them in artistic activities and imaginative play with Teo's Sonic characters and stuffed animals. While I might lose interest after about 10 minutes, I can spend hours crafting with them. This difference in play styles provides children with a balanced range of stimulation and learning experiences.

Navigating Play Styles

The interaction between my sons during play offers a fascinating window into their personalities. Teo, despite being younger at just 4 years old, is the one who introduces competitive elements where characters "die" or lose. "Your character is dead now!" he'll announce dramatically during play, not fully understanding the concept that sometimes others need to win too. Meanwhile, Tur becomes quite upset when his character keeps dying at the hands of his little brother. It's interesting to see how Teo is actually more creative with toys than Tur. Tur has always needed company and someone to guide play, while Teo naturally invents scenarios and stories with his toys.

I'll never forget our kids playing with the water and hose - they were always splashing around. One day, I accidentally left a bottle of detergent outside, and before I could blink, they had turned our backyard into their own impromptu foam party! It's in these physical, unstructured activities where they truly unite and find common ground. Despite their different personalities and frequent disagreements with toys, when it comes to making mischief with water or creating chaos together (those little troublemakers!), they become the perfect team. These moments of spontaneous joy show how children find their own ways to play together, discovering activities where their differences actually complement rather than compete with each other.

Protective Instincts and Sibling Bonds

What warms my heart most is seeing how they protect each other outside the home. Recently at a science workshop, when a little girl criticized Teo for "spilling water incorrectly," Tur immediately defended his brother. This confirmed for me that perhaps having the more confident, outspoken child come first in the birth order creates a natural protective dynamic, exactly what I'd hoped for.

These protective instincts often emerge in unexpected ways. While they might squabble endlessly at home over toys or attention, there's an unspoken alliance when they're in unfamiliar territory. Tur instinctively steps into the role of guide and protector for his younger siblings, and even Teo shows surprising gentleness toward baby Livia when she's upset.

Growing Together Through Play

Children's play isn't just about fun, it's their most important work. Through play, they process emotions, learn social skills, develop cognitive abilities, and form their understanding of the world. Watching my three little ones engage in different types of play has given me insights into their developing minds that I might have missed otherwise.

Tur, with his logical mind, often approaches play as a set of rules to be followed. He likes knowing how games work and can become frustrated when things don't go according to plan. His play often involves scenarios with clear roles and objectives.

Teo, on the other hand, approaches play with creative freedom. He's less concerned with "the right way" to play and more interested in exploring possibilities. His artistic nature shows in how he arranges toys in unusual combinations or invents stories that don't necessarily follow conventional logic.

Little Livia, still in the early stages of play development, approaches everything with enthusiastic experimentation. Her favorite "game" currently involves emptying containers and filling them again, drawers, cabinets, boxes, nothing is safe from her curious hands! She observes her brothers intently, already trying to mimic their play styles in her own toddler way.

As They Grow: Future Chapters

As for what little Livia will bring to our family story? The early signs are delightfully strong-willed. Just today, she took off all her clothes, screaming that she didn't want them, despite not yet speaking actual words! She simply puts her arms up like a little bird, curves her body downward, and makes an odd sound: "Aaaah" to scare the opponent." Then she marched over to her drawer, pulled out only her Bluey and Bingo t-shirt, and made it clear that's all she wanted to wear. She also constantly heads to the kitchen and fridge, already showing her independence.

It seems our third might be combining her brothers' personalities, taking Tur's determination and Teo's expressiveness to create something entirely her own. And isn't that the magic of childhood? Just when you think you've seen it all, your child shows you something completely new.

I managed to find ways to guide Tur toward obedience, but it was definitely not easy. Teo seems naturally more responsive to direction or perhaps I'm simply more of an expert parent now. (We'll never know which explanation is correct though I suspect it's a bit of both!)

As they grow, their ways of playing together will evolve. The simple joy of a foam party will give way to more complex games and interactions. Their personalities will continue to develop, influenced by each other as much as by their parents. But I hope that the foundations we're building now, of creativity, protection, and finding joy in each other's company, will remain throughout their lives.

In the beautiful chaos of raising these three distinct personalities, I've come to see that the greatest gift isn't in shaping them to be exactly as we imagined, but in creating a space where they can become their authentic selves, while learning to appreciate the differences in others. Through names chosen with love and play that builds bonds, we're weaving the fabric of a family that celebrates uniqueness while finding strength in togetherness.